Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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