So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize