I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
