It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
