either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
