Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
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