I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My dick has a subreddit
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
