just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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