I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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