I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
