spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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