She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
