no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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