she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Someone came in the potted fern
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
