Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
