Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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