he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
