How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
