Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I looked at my own cervix.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
