This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
