We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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