The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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