He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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