I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
