the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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