Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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