good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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