you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
