I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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