there's paper in my vomit.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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