You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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