You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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