I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i've created a new STD.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
