Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
