I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dicks are not precious.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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