about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
