im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
