all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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