bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
