I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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