I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Someone shattered a urinal.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
