Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
