3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Randomize
