The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
