I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
