Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
