just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
