something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
