Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
