We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
