The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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