If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We talked him into tasing himself.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
